It's hard to think - that's why most people judge

If you could erase all the assumptions, beliefs, and ideas you hold about people - would you? I am not speaking about discernment, but the often unquestioned layer of assumptions through which we relate to others. We encounter this choice every day, often many times a day. So why is it so difficult to step outside of our judgments, even momentarily?

It’s hard to think - that’s why most people judge, a remark often attributed to Carl Jung. So what might Jung have meant when he said that thinking is hard?

Letting go of assumptions is not a trivial task. Our beliefs are woven into an entire ecosystem of identity and worldview - one we rely on to navigate life with a sense of familiarity, safety, and control. These are essential psychological needs, and the psyche does not relinquish them until it feels safe to do so.

Judging others is not only protective - it often strengthens our sense of self. Clear opinions can create a feeling of solidity, of knowing who we are and where we stand. And that feels rewarding. Letting go of them is not only difficult - it can feel destabilizing.

So how does one go about this?

Any form of personal work can support this, because the key is in expanding the field of awareness. But it can also be practiced quite intentionally, in everyday situations.

The next time you meet someone, you might decide to bring attention to what is happening within you. Where do your thoughts about this person arise from? Are they grounded in direct observation, or are they shaped by past experiences, expectations, or projections? What sensations are being stirred up in your body?

Bringing awareness to how we judge the world and the people around us is an excellent pointer back to ourselves. Qualities we disown, suppress, or have learned are unacceptable tend to be noticed more quickly - and more intensely - when we encounter them in someone else. In that sense, many of our judgments are less about who the other person is, and more about our own shadow. In other words, it is about our truth, not the truth.

And the goal is not to erase all judgements and beliefs, of course. That is neither possible nor advisable.

So the question isn’t whether we should have assumptions about people - we inevitably do - but whether we can relate to them differently. Can we hold them lightly, with just enough spaciousness and awareness, so the ones that don’t serve us well anymore can be examined and let go of?